You know you've become an adult, a true student of the world, if you want to move out of your parent's house. And not just "wanting," but actively house hunting and taking that actual step to buy the appliances and items you'll need. But, before you move out for the first time on your own, read this piece.
Manage your finances
Finances are a huge aspect of moving out.
If you live alone, a huge chunk of your earnings likely goes toward paying bills like water, electricity, internet, and, most importantly, food. There are also other costs to consider, like shoes, clothes, hair, and hangouts with friends.
But, if you live at home, your parents will likely take care of all that. So, instead of paying the bills, you can save your earnings for something else. Some people may save enough to buy themselves an apartment and forego paying rent. Or buy themselves a car.
See, living at home, above all, helps to move your finances around. Specifically to save nearly every penny of your net pay toward achieving a certain goal.
You may have to do everything on your own
Now, moving out is like a sign to your parents that you're grown now. You've got it handled.
I remember when I moved out. I was so determined that I searched for houses by myself, went shopping by myself, and even bought furniture and had them moved into my new house - by myself.
I was 24 and a girl. It's simply not easy to convince your parents that you're ready to live on your own as a girl. Especially when you're not moving out because of a job or commitment. I just wanted to move out. That's it.
So, I decided to make my move and ask for forgiveness later. When I'd already paid my rent and put down a deposit, and that's how I started my adulting journey. In a rush. Determined to get it done.
You may have to change your diet
The problem, though, is I didn't properly consider the repercussions it came with.
For starters, I had to cook my own meals. You can hire a house help for sure. But that's an added expenditure on top of the electricity, water, internet, food, and "enjoyment" bills. So, to save money, I had to cook for myself and drastically change my diet to affordable meals. This worked for a while. Then, I started to skip lunch. For breakfast, I'd have like a fruit or a snack, which is a huge step down from the continental breakfast my mother provided.
There were times months would go by, and it would hit me that I hadn't had fruit in a long while. Damn. Or vegetables. I would gravitate toward fried foods a bit much. Then, there are processed foods that are easy to make, like noodles and sossi. Ha! It took my avoiding to buy processed foods at all so I could take them off my diet.
Things are better now. My nutrition has stabilised. But at the start, it was hella tough.
There are times when you'll have no one to chat with
Then, there's the loneliness aspect that I feel most people don't often talk about. See, living alone means coming home to a lifeless room, to four walls, to a TV. Mind you, I couldn't afford to buy a TV for a couple of months, so I basically came home to only my phone for company - a phone that I had on me pretty much all the time.
If you have siblings or simply enjoy banter with your parents, it can be a huge adjustment.
You may lose friends
You can have friends over for sure. But hosting grows on you. Hosting is work. You have to stock your fridge, likely cook for your friends, and do the dishes... ah, the dishes, which ties in with cleaning the house, the washroom, and literally scrubbing sinks. Cleaning isn't necessarily a bad thing. But, I do believe that a clean house translates to good mental health. So, if you hate cleaning, it can be a problem.
Some friends will be kind enough to clean up after themselves and to help with whatever you need. But others will not. In fact, you may find yourself avoiding some friends because it seems like they're using you - taking more than they give.
There's also plenty of freedom that comes with living alone. However, it's easy to break your boundaries to please people. You may be an indoor person, but you feel forced to entertain people.
It takes time to truly know yourself, to know what your lifestyle is like, and chances are, that lifestyle may need you to cut off friends that threaten to destroy it.
It can be expensive
Something else I feel people don't often talk about is how expensive it is to move out. Now, some may look at it from the point of view of it being cheaper to furnish your house earlier before the economy goes to shit. The Kenyan currency isn't as strong as it used to be. So, I may argue I spent less money furnishing my house last year when I moved out than if I were to move out this year.
But, my point of view is that appliances and furniture last for a long time. Sometimes even a lifetime. And so, moving out with the assumption of buying things quickly may end up costing more in the long run if you're not happy with what you bought.
Say, you decided to buy a cheaper TV to hold the fort for a while before you can get the Sony or Samsung your heart desires. When the time comes, and you save enough to buy the brand you wanted, you may have to sell your old TV at a huge loss. Such is life, though. Selling old stuff to buy new ones is a part of adulting. And that's the point of it all, isn't it?
Freedom
I don't mean to discourage you at all. There are definitely a lot of advantages that come with moving out. I personally don't put a price on freedom. The fact that I can leave my house and return whenever I want. I can invite and disinvite whomever I want. I can cook whatever meals I want. I can furnish my house with the furniture and appliances that I like. I can regulate my finances the way I want. I can even walk naked if I want, and no one would lift a finger.
Of course, it's not to encourage living carelessly. Or without caution. I still have to make sure I lock my doors before going to bed. That I have the proper security system. If the water runs out, I have to make sure I know how to get it back up and running. Or, if the Internet doesn't work, it's up to me to figure out how to fix it. Some of these things seem small, but when living at home, they get taken care of, often without you even knowing. But even with the responsibility that comes with it, I still value freedom above all else because it's how I know I'm an adult and grown-ish. Still learning.
I'm listing all these for you because I really want you to be sure that moving out is exactly the next step you'd like to take. There’s no ticking time clock, regardless of how old you are or whether people around you are pressuring you to do so.
Only move out when you’re sure that it’s time for you to take that next step. Meanwhile, check out our “Introducing Your Boyfriend to Your African Parents: An Exclusive Inside Look at How I Approached Mine” article, and let us know any questions or concerns.